I feel like I’m doing the Cha-Cha these days.
2 steps forward , 1 (okay, maybe 2) steps back.
I think this is what might known as the “Post-Treatment/Get To Know Your New Normal” Phase. I’m not completely done with treatment (after this morning, only 4 IVs to go!) but the Herceptin doesn’t hit me like the chemo. At least, not that I can see.
On any given day I go from full speed to nap time, all within the span of about 8 hours. And that’s just in my head. My body tends to want to slow much sooner than that.
The New Normal.
Once I look for work in the mornings, I have more free time than I am used to. Since booking from Facebook a week ago, my mind is freer as well (all those endless loop “conversations” in my head are gone! Whooya!)
Now, I spend as much time as I want doing things around the house, in the garden, in my office. I was feeling pretty good about that until 3 days ago, when my daughter got laid off – this for the second time in 3 months.
THAT is The New Normal, too, apparently.
Thank God for a God that isn’t as easily offended as are a goodly number of the humans I know. Thank God for a Goddess who knows me – who knows my fullness, and who doesn’t judge me on 130 characters. Who knows what makes my heart-break, what betrays it, and what strengthens it (whether by the hand of another or my own).
When faced with things like illness, layoffs, deaths, separation – what are my options here? I can either sink to the bottom of the Victim Pool and drown under the weight (I might have to take a number, though, ‘cuz it’s crowded down there). That won’t help.
Or I can remind myself – and my girl – that every Life has challenges. Always. These things are as part of the natural cycle of life as births, marriages, promotions, and vibrant well-being. They come and they go like cycles or seasons, and we don’t have to face them alone. We get through these hard times together, pulling as a unit, with the Divine energizing and blessing our prayers, our efforts and our progress.
There are so many things a parent wants to do for their children, no matter how old they are. I, for one, want to make their worlds safe for them. SAFE is a big word for me this days. But life isn’t about being “safe”, and they are on their journeys as well with their own Souls and their own Soul Contracts. I can’t “protect” them from the very thing Life may want to use to mature them.
After all, It’s the wind and the rain that strengthens the tree. Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes calls it the “hardening off”. We develop things like patience, fortitude, courage, faith and grace during the storms of life. We last. We keep standing.
We learn to Rock the Cha-Cha.
Good thing I like to dance…
( the photo is of me and my son, dancing at his wedding last March. BEST. DANCE. EVER. )