Daily Inspiration, Peace, Purpose, Relationships, Revelations, Self Esteem, Spirituality, Spring, Work

Losing Control


hangmanI noticed several things immediately yesterday, on my First Day On The Job:

One – The Old Woman was compelled  to tell me all about of her accomplishments, all about of her credentials, right out of the box. (and they were impressive!)

I wondered if she forgot the only reason I spoke of my accomplishments and credentials when last we met was because I was on a “job interview.”

It seemed that she was telling me all this stuff about her wonderfulness because she wanted to raise my opinion of her.  She needed to tell me that she was Somebody.  She had Import.  She was Special.   This was all tied into how important the job was to her – to keep her active and “with it”.

At this point, I literally told her:  “I didn’t come here to take your job.”

Two, The Old Woman also went out of her way to emphasize various reasons as to why I wouldn’t like the job.  “It won’t be exciting enough for you.” “There’s nothing creative about this job.” “I told The Boss (her son) that you would be bored here.” (That one was said multiple times.)

*ahem*  OK.  Thanks for that.

And Three, as she was showing me the ropes, it was obvious that she is a Control Freak.  A nice one, to be sure, but a CF just the same.  I lost count of how many times she said, “I do it this way…..” – even down to how to separate the pages of triplicate style form:  “The Whites HERE, the Pinks HERE, and the Yellows THERE.”

Are you fucking KIDDING ME right now?

After a while, I just stopped doing things the way that I would naturally, and followed her instruction EXACTLY.  NOT because I thought it was the best way….but because I was so tired of hearing about HER way.

Maybe she realized what she was saying because a number of times, she back pedalled: “But when you do this, you can do it your way.”  Really?  You’re giving me permission to separate a form “MY” way?

Wow.  Thanks for that.

I also  noticed the office spaces – and there are a bunch of them – need to be cleaned up…organized…updated.  The Old Woman has been using the same plastic baggy to hold stamps in for 15 years.  It’s torn and old.  The desk drawers are full of crap. There are funky Christmas decorations lined against the wall among some other unidentifiable paraphernalia, and it looks like someone dropped them “temporarily” only to have them stay there for years.  Decades old papers and catalogs sit on the shelves, and so much wasted space! All of this spoke to me of something hugely important:

CHANGE doesn’t happen here.

It wasn’t a horrible day.  5 hours went relatively quickly even though – by and large – it wasn’t very productive.  The Old Woman moves and speaks slowly, and goes off on little tangents.  Me?  I am a DOER, and like to GSD (get shit done).

So why would I go back after all of that?

This the question I ask myself this morning…..

Should I just do it for a few weeks for the extra cash?  It was an easy $150, that’s for sure.

Do I want to stay for the practice of getting back into the working world?

Do I stay long enough for my hair to grow back a bit more, so I feel more “Presentation Worthy” in this world where employers will make up their mind about you in the first 30 seconds of a job interview?

Do I stick around to “See What Happens?”  I know that The Boss needs me, and I can already tell he would like me to do things The Old Woman and The Collage Girl (his daughter) either cannot or will not do.  I could really assist him.

And I would love (as in L-O-V-E) to get in there and organize things.  Disorder and junk make me uptight.  I am a  Put Things Right kinda girl.  An “everything in it’s place” sister. I mean, how about we recycle the big old copy machine that doesn’t work and is being used as a table for potted plants?

No question, I could give the whole office space the total Feng Shui-ing it desperately needs.

But would The Old Woman “allow” it?

Would The Boss override her objections so that I could?

…….

I’m going in for another 5 hours today.  It will give me a better sense of What’s What.  This is definitely a case of Progressive Revelation, on all counts. The True for me today is, I have the time to be there right now. I am making some money. And there’s really nothing else I really need to do today, no other job offers coming through (yet), and I am kind curious because I don’t believe in accidents or coincidences.

Who knows? Maybe….just maybe…..

I Am The Change they’ve been needing to see in their world….

5 thoughts on “Losing Control”

  1. “I am the change….” oh that had me smiling! The one thing that I was reminded of reading your blog was an article I read aimed at Millenials on How To Improve Things For The X-Gen Boss. The key was something along the lines of “I think I can see a better/more efficient/cheaper way to do this. Can we step through it and see if I’ve missed something?” Even just reading that sentence sounds like my other half trying to help me at an art fair and not doing things The Way I Do Them. He does understand though, because he knows me, that Things Are Done That Way for a Good Reason That Makes Things More Efficient, and I’m always happy to explain the Good Reason. Perhaps conversations along the ‘Millenial’ lines will allow for integration of better things without the Old Woman feeling you’re taking over. At this point though, she probably does have her* ‘place for everything’ system. It’s just muddled. One other observation. Million dollar homes in fancy magazines look (to me) like Million Dollar homes for one primary reason: Tidy – No clutter. Perhaps the thought that the store/office might look like an extra zero got added to the income side of the balance sheet will let her allow you to declutter. Feng Shui on, girlfriend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. :) Jen, your post made me smile. I know The Boss is 50 years old. Is that a Millenial? WOW! The issue has resolved itself. :) Stand by for an update. It is good to read you again, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. hmmm, I read this yesterday and commented but the the black hole of WP swallowed my words it seems. I’m sure I was wise and supportive, because you know, I love you and think you are terrific. Deep breath with the old woman. Geez. listen to your heart, she will tell you what the next step is and you are tuned in and wise enough to hear her speak.

    Like

    1. You did leave a comment. I decided to move things from lookingfortrue.com over to here so I have it all in one place. Your words are always wise – both there and here. ;-) thank you!

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