2015 is proving to be THE Year of Radical Transformation for me, catapulted by a diagnosis of Breast Cancer that I received back in January.
Like most people given the news that they have a life threatening illness, my first thought was, “This can’t be happening!” It’s true what they say, you know. You never think it could happen to you. I’ve always been a strong, independent, capable woman. After receiving the news just prior to my 58th birthday, I was feeling anything but. Instead, I felt fragile and petrified. I wasn’t sure what to do, where to go, and who to talk to, to get my life back!
Mostly, I acutely felt my mortality for the first time ever. This shit could kill me.
Breast cancer has impacted every aspect of my life, not just my health. My relationships, my job, my spiritual and emotional lives, my finances and my sense of self have all been enormously impacted – I will never be the same.
And I’m beginning to think this may be one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
I’m learning so much while on this journey, and here’s one thing that I know for sure: While there are definitely moments of gut wrenching fear, pain, and loss, there are many more moments of receiving unconditional love, peace, healing, and extravagant Grace. Life has a new preciousness to it now. I savor and find pleasure in the small, simple things, all while taking an honest look at what’s really important to me and how I want to live out the rest of this wild ride called LIFE.
There are still good things yet to be experienced. GREAT things, even. My best days really are ahead of me!
If I only stay in a place of SURRENDER, TRUST and BELIEF….
So, you may have noticed by now. The Wild Pomegranate is gone, and Grace Upside Down is here with a new look, a new name, and new direction. I have felt The Call to blog primarily about my own “dance” with breast cancer (love this term coined by Susan Weed, The Wise Woman!) and all the stuff that goes along with it. However, not all posts will be BC related. This is another thing I know: Breast cancer doesn’t define me. It’s only one season in a long chain of seasons in my life.
But this dance is honing me and purifying me like a great big Fiery Furnace of Alchemy. The lead is turning to gold. I am going to come out of this thing bearing Gifts and I want to share them. I will come out this deal in better shape than I was going in. For all intents and purposes, I will be a completely changed woman, more ME than I’ve ever been, and yet different in innumerable ways. Ways that I want to be in alignment with the highest version of myself and my purpose.
My hope is that what I provide here will be helpful to others engaged in their own dance with breast cancer, as well as caretakers and anyone else who might want to stick along for the ride. That being said….
To My Subscribers: Some of you have been with me since the beginning in 2007. Please, please, please know that I will not take offense if you decide to unsubscribe in the face of this new direction I’m taking. I totally get it if it’s not for you. THANK YOU for the time that you did spend with me here, and I wish you much health and happiness!
For anyone else who decides to stay – and for the new people who make their way here –
Welcome to my Initiation.