Fall, Lynn Andrews, Oneness, Prayers, The Wild Pomegranate

A Prayer For Fall – Lynn Andrews

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Great Spirit, I honor you all the waking days of my life.

Oh great wise ones who guide us on our sacred journey,

You know when to reveal the mysteries of truth,

Just as the clouds part and allow us

To see the snowcapped mountains that were obscured from view.

I am learning that truth burns like a fire,

And when I am filled with psychic debris that I have collected

In my experiences through my lifetime,

Truth, at the wrong moment, can burn me beyond recognition.

Thank you, Great Spirit, for helping me understand that my journey

Is a careful one

 and that I must place each foot carefully on the path,

Walking with judgment and discernment.

It is inappropriate to run wildly and carelessly on this sacred journey.

Even with this knowledge, I am grateful for my spontaneity,and my wildness of spirit.

I understand the difference between the wildness of my own soul

And carelessness and thoughtlessness on my path to evolution.

As I look out at my sacred landscape,

I see great boulders that look like eagles,

And clouds that look like wolves, passing above me in the sky.

The great thunderhead clouds reflect kachina dolls

Dancing in the spirit world across the sacred plains.

The mountains rise majestically above the clouds,

 and the rivers flow

Like luminous fibers of silver through the life force of my universe.

I hold hands with my sisters and my brothers,

committed to harmony and peace,

And an understanding of the human condition.

Truth has many names, but all truth is the same.

Those who say that they know the truth, know nothing.

And those who say they know nothing, know the truth.

Thank you, Great Spirit, for this magnificent schoolhouse we call earth.

Thank you, Great Spirit, for the winged ones and the four-leggedsand the two-leggeds.

Thank you for the plants and the trees and the stones that were here before us

That teach us so many things.

I give you my trust, Great Spirit, as you have given me my life.

Thank you for your blessings. Ho!

 

Divine Feminine, Life, Love, Mothers and Daughters, The Little Mermaid, The Wild Pomegranate, Women, Writing

Risky Business

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When someone you love says something cruel, abuses the love you have for them, and cuts you out of their life, it can feel as if your heart shatters into a million pieces.

In one sense, love is always a crap shoot.  Every time we extend love to another, we risk.  We risk rejection.  We risk betrayal.  We risk Euphoria :)  However, there is one guarantee that comes with Love: It always exists somewhere in our lives.  We just may be looking in the wrong place for it.

One of my favorite Bible passages says this.  It’s 1 Corinthians 13, from the Message:

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all It’s mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.  If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

   Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
   Love doesn’t strut,
   Doesn’t have a swelled head,
   Doesn’t force itself on others,
   Isn’t always “me first,”
   Doesn’t fly off the handle,
   Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end. 
  Love never dies.

Now, I know the Bible isn’t really popular with alot of people.  It’s been tampered with on so many levels, it’s almost impossible to know fact from fiction.  However, I still appreciate the wisdom that I find in it – just as I do with the wisdom I find in other texts.  Even beloved fairy tales like “The Little Mermaid”…

“We have not immortal souls, we shall never live again; but, like the green sea-weed, when once it has been cut off, we can never flourish more. Human beings, on the contrary, have a soul which lives forever, lives after the body has been turned to dust. It rises up through the clear, pure air beyond the glittering stars. As we rise out of the water, and behold all the land of the earth, so do they rise to unknown and glorious regions which we shall never see.”

Love never gives up…never looks back…and never ends.  How powerful that thought is to me today, as I consider this person that I love so much, and who has walked away from my life yet once again.  This is not the first time she’s left in a heated, dramatic huff.  The first time was when she was 15 years old.  The second, when she was 18.  And now, at 20, she’s doing it again.  Interestingly enough, she left about this time 2 years ago:  The month of October.  I’m sure there’s a key there for me, but I haven’t gotten to it yet.  One key I do have is this:  It’s not about ‘me’, no matter what she says.  Having a daughter with the sorts of emotional dis-ease that mine has, has been my greatest Teacher in lessons on Unconditional Love.  For that I am grateful, but I didn’t ‘attract’ her behavior.  And I certainly didn’t cause it – any more than I caused my father’s lung disease or my cousins cancer.

But I do have to deal with it, the best I know how.  And for me, that means loving her from a distance.  Keeping healthy boundaries and an open heart.  Forgiving her is now second nature.  But more importantly, I will not give up on her because I see her with the Eyes of Love.  The eyes that look for the best in her, and that don’t look back.

Blogroll, Divine Feminine, Life, Surrender, The Wild Pomegranate, Women, Writing

Dancing With The Light

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“When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor.

It’s to enjoy each step along the way.” – Wayne Dyer

 

When I go out in the mornings, the last part of my walk has me heading due East.  The walking trail is sprinkled with trees lining one side, and hilly residential backyards and empty lots on the other.  At certain hours in the day, those same trees provide shade over half the trail and provides some shelter from the hot California sun.  The sun is taking longer to come up now, and I know my early morning walks are soon to be packed away for the Winter.  But I love to observe the changing of  shadows and light that comes slowly over time. Spring transitions into Summer…Summer into Fall.  And now, Fall is ready to yield into Winter.

One morning not long ago, as I came around a particular bend on my way home, I was absolutely blinded by the 8:00 a.m. sun.  At that particular time and angle, it was hitting me full force in the face.  I kept walking, eyes almost completely closed and gazing downwards through my lashes.  I could only see about one to two steps in front of me at most, but since I’ve walked the trail so often, I just kept walking – feeling my way more than seeing it.  The path is familiar, and I could see just enough to know that I was heading in the right direction and wouldn’t go two-wheeling off into the rough dirt.  I ‘knew’ the trail was there, so I felt confident and at peace – even though my vision was almost completely obstructed.

As I walked, I began thinking about the interesting dynamic of having so much Light in front of me vs. having it behind me – like when I walk in the evenings.  What a difference that makes!  With the light behind me, the walk is easier, cooler and I can see clearly – at least, for a time.  A small shadow is cast in front of me, and as I walk, that shadow goes along….lengthening in front of me as the sun lowers in the sky.  The shadows around me begin to grow as well, closing in on me.  What initially began as an easy walk becomes a more speculative walk into shadowy darkness, as the sun sets behind me and I lose the light completely.

When I walk full face into the sun, however, the shadows are all behind me.  On this particular morning, I was enchanted with the fact that if I held my eyes almost closed, I could still just see the where I was going to step next.  And it so perfectly symbolized this spiritual journey that I’m walking.

I have a definite idea about where I want to go, and how I want to end up.  I also know that there are multitudes of paths that get ‘there’, and sometimes I speculate on which path to take that will continue to take me in the direction of the Light.  At times, all I know to do is to put one foot in front of the other, and keep moving.  Keep moving and believing that the next step will be revealed to me.  And the next.  And the next.   And that I won’t end up falling into a ditch or tangled up in the bushes. 

This particular morning, When the Light is very bright, my sight was so minimized that I was left depending on my other senses more.  I could feel when the power and the strength of The Sun was hitting me square on, so I could make minor adjustments to keep moving directly towards it.  Even with eyes closed, I knew which way to go because there was light breaking through my lids.   I could ‘see’ without seeing that I was going the right way.  It guided me with a light from within, behind my eyes. 

There were no shadows there.  It wasn’t the ‘dark’ blinding me, it was the Light. It’s brightness was prohibiting me from seeing more than just step or so at a time.  It was a walk of faith, born from desire to keep moving and to stay out of the shadows.  I felt some familiarity with the path, and yet I surrendered my need to see exactly every step I’m going to take.  I knew to keep walking towards the East.  Towards the Light.  Because that is where Home is waiting for me.

And I always get there – to exactly where I want to be – taking just one step at a time, enjoying the scenery along the way.

Friendship, Gratitude, Internet Relationships, Life, Love, Vacation

We Interrupt This Program…

I’m so excited!  I’ve taken today day off as a vacation day, and in a couple of hours I’ll be leaving for a long weekend out of town to a few of my favorite places.  Downtown Ventura, Santa Barbara and Solvang.  There’s just something about breaking out of the normal routine, and heading out on an adventure that really fills my Joy Tank to overflowing.

 Ok…and it keeps me sane, too. ;-)  It’s times like these that I just want to dance around with my hands in the air, shouting, “Wooo WHoo!  I’m FREE!”

Anyway, I’ll be back late Sunday.  In the meantime, I’d like to say something about all of you that I’ve come to know here in Blogland.  Your presence in my life makes it that much richer and fuller.  Only someone who doesn’t ‘do this’, doesn’t understand the friendships, love and care that can develop for people whom you’ve never set eyes on.  But let me tell you – some of my closest relationships over the years have been with people I met via the Net.  We’ve never stood in each other’s physical presence, but we’ve shared our hearts…our fears…our successes and joys and heartbreaks with each other.  And THAT is what makes a ‘real’ relationship.

So as I traaalaaalaaaa off for my weekend out of town, just remember this:

YOU MATTER.  You make a difference in the world and – more importantly – in the lives of every single person you touch here in Blogland.  You matter and make a difference in my life.  I am very often completely floored by the wisdom, humor, creativity and REALNESS that you bring here to share.  I’ve laughed with you and at you :)  (in the BEST sort of way).  I’ve shed tears with you, and for you…and for me.  I’ve grown into a better person because of you.

And it doesn’t matter whether we ‘met’ yesterday or months ago.  I consider you a precious gift in my life and – if I could – I’d reach through this screen and give you the biggest hug, and smather kisses all over your cheeks.

Because in my own way – in our own way – I love you.

Have a wonderful Friday and a GREAT weekend.  Talk to you soon!

Peace….Your friend,

Grace

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Dreaming, Faith, Life, The Wild Pomegranate, Women, Writing

Dreaming For Escape

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….”The Crystal Ball”, by John Waterhouse

I want a new life.

Not a completely new one….just a majorily overhauled one.  I really really really want a physical existance that supports and inhances my inner life.  I want to own my own home in a lovely natural setting.  I want time.  Time to create.  Time to rest.  Time to do all of the things that have been in my heart for so long.  Painting.  Writing.  Volunteering at the arboretum.  Homemaking.  Crafting.  Cooking.  Tending gardens and relationships and my spiritual life in a slower pace lifestyle that allows me to breathe.

Can I get real for a moment? At 50 years old, and after 30 years of doing it, hitting the commuter traffic every morning for some 9 to 5 desk job is getting old.  Neither of my divorces were from wealthy guys – so I didn’t take away any booty in the breakups. My body is really beginning to complain from being locked up at a computer all day.  I need to move!  Bodies were made to move! And more than just flinching and strentching and coffee-gathering.  Add two more hours a day making the commute (a frustratingly ridiculous short distance, really – only 12 miles each way) and ugh!

Southern California is a tough place to live when you’re a single gal, on a single income, trying to keep your head above water.  Studio apartments go for $1000 a month.   I stole my 3 bedroom, in today’s market.  But it still takes well over 50% of my paycheck just to put the roof over our heads.  Gas it snuggling up close to $3.00 a gallon.  You practically need a second job just to pay for some a/c usage during the 100 degree plus weather (it was over 90 here day before yesterday). 

Want to know what “faith” is?  It’s thinking I’ll ever be able to afford a house on my own here.  Even in the worst part of town, prices are ridiculous.  Foreclosures are hitting the market faster than you can say Multiple Listing Service….and the only people I know who are buying houses are those taking down huge salaries, or those that are minorities and qualify for special funding programs.  They don’t even need to be legal, in some cases.

So what’s a middle aged gal in the shrinking middle class to do, who wants freedom and financial security and TIME?

She begins writing. 

She begins writing about her fantasy life….what it will look like, what it will feel like and smell like.  She places herself as the main character, and allows her imagination to create that perfect life, as a perfect escape.  Maybe that character will own the quaint, exclusive B&B she’s always dreamed of.  Or the restaurant that serves only homemade breakfasts and lunches from ingredients purchased at the Farmer’s Market.  It will be a place where the patrons will know each others names from visiting so often to enjoy fresh, hot scones and herbal teas while surrounded by the work of local artisans.  Perhaps she’ll have that studio overlooking the ocean, or a hillside of trees, where she’ll put to canvas what’s in her heart, or put to paper that novel that’s been inside of her since 4th grade.  She’ll bask in the spring sunshine as she prepares her garden, hands thrust in rich warm earth that brings her pleasure at the deepest core of her being.  And in the Fall, she’ll harvest what she’s sown – the vegetables and flowers, the relationships and the inspiration.  She will love and be loved, and will flow through the seasons of Life with peace, joy, creativity and a warm generousity born of a grateful heart. 

I think I’ll name her Grace.