Falling Forward


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….photo by Grace

It’s still dark now at 6:00 a.m.  September is half over, and I notice the trees are beginning to put on their fiery colors.  I didn’t have to run the air conditioner at all yesterday, and the breeze coming through my bedroom window last night was cool and (almost) damp.

Fall is coming.

Fall is my favorite time of year.  I love wearing boots and blazers and neck scarfs.  I love padding around in Uggcovered feet with a steaming cup of coffee, waiting for the sun to rise.   Tastebuds are satisfied with savory barley stew and roasted butternut squash soup.  Homemade cookies and breads fill the house with the most delicious “homey” scents of cinnamon, nutmeg and pumpkin.

And yesterday I could really feel the change internally as well.  Seems my nesting gene is kicking in after a long hot summer.  I find myself wanting to gets some pretty Fall decorations placed about, and maybe it’s time to freshen my container garden with some Mums and Marrigolds.

I don’t use an alarm clock, and usually have no trouble waking up at 5:00 a.m. or so.  Until recently.  Several days now my eyes have suddenly popped open from a deep sleep, like I’ve forgotten something really important while I was dreaming.  I turn to look at the clock and find outrageously late (for me) times like 6:30 and 7:00 a.m.  I comfort myself with the thought that soon we’ll ‘fall backwards’ with Daylight Savings – I’m actually still right on time.

This coming Fall is different for me.  More different in more ways than I can ever remember.  Or maybe I should say I am different – more different than I can ever remembering being.  I’ve struggled a little bit with trying to decide how to describe what has happened inside of me over the last couple of months.  Then I let the struggle go and decided to simply begin to write about my journey in whatever way IT decides to present itself.

I am 50 years old and in the Autumn of my own life.  And while the fresh tender bloom of the Maiden is being replaced with the warm, rich colors of The Crone, I’ve been gifted with something else.  It’s something my Sisters the Pomegranates taught me.  I say “Sisters” because just yesterday, I found another tree!  On my way home, my Inner Compass took me off the sidewalk and onto a dirt path that winds it’s way up the hillside.  And halfway up, there She was!  How did I not see her before now?  What drew my eye to eye to Her?

She revealed Herself to me by her beautiful Fruit.

9 thoughts on “Falling Forward

  1. Grace…Your words are giving me chills (good chills) this morning. I adore that fact that you listen to your “Inner Compass”…You are on such a magical journey Goddess friend…enjoy every step and every breath…

    ((( Muse ))) Yes! It’s funny you should mention that…I just commented somewhere recently that I am definitely on a Magical Mystery Tour :) xoxox

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  2. I was just thinking yesterday about how fall was here. It is cooler in the mornings, but there is something different about the light itself, and that’s what I actually noticed.

    Fall has always been a sad time for me. Days get shorter, and I miss the sunlight. Trees turn colors, but their leaves die and drop, and it just means that the ugly winter is on its way.

    Yesterday was the first time I can remember that I just enjoyed the fall day for what it was, pleasant and different from the weeks before, without cringing at the thought of winter. Fall will never be my favorite season, but I’m hoping I’ve made peace with it.

    Yikes! I just saw that I hadn’t responded to you, Deb!! Isn’t it interesting the way the seasons effect each of us so differently??? I sometimes ‘cringe’ at the thought of summer. I LOVE the longer days, but the 100plus temperatures wear on me after awhile. I guess it’s a matter of taking from each season what resonates, and leaving the rest??? It’s always a season for gratitude, I suppose…. xoxoxo to you Goddess girl! And who knows? You may learn to fall in love with Fall someday, too! (and me, with Summer!)

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  3. Hi Grace. Reminds me of “Magic Bus” by The Who…”Every day I get in the queue (Too much, Magic Bus)- To get on the bus that takes me to you (Too much, Magic Bus) – I’m so nervous, I just sit and smile (Too much, Magic Bus) – You house is only another mile (Too much, Magic Bus)” Woo! Hop on that Magical Mystery Tour bus…Hope we don’t run out of petrol!

    LOL I LOVE that song! :) Petrol? Girl, I’ll get out and RUN if I need to! ;-)

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  4. There is so much peace flowing from your words out through the computer screen these days. Nothing like a few months ago and your old blog. I think I know what happened to you. You’ve become “born-again” again (grin). Remember how that was? The New Creature and the New Life and all the old has passed away and everything is new? I learned a long time ago that isn’t just a Christian thing…it happens on all spiritual paths.

    In fact, it reminds me of something. In my new novel “The Witches of Dixie,” Ravena, a White Witch, is trying to tell her husband what a White Witch is. She tells him all the usual stuff, but she can’t explain to him what it really felt like inside. Here’s what she says…

    “She couldn’t tell him it felt like falling through a cosmic window, her life born again to the Divine Feminine. Born to the silk of fuchsia lilies blooming in her garden, the meadowlark’s jeweled flute, or this cat leaping in the kitchen at sunshine, as if it could be caught and held, as if it were as tangible as a whisker or a faery’s wing. And she would never forget that day, a gift in the form of an open door, the Madonna of a smile shellacking the sky, welcoming her home.”

    (c) Laura Stamps

    Sounds kind of like what happened to you, doesn’t it? Many blessings to you, my beloved Aries Sister! And many faery xoxoxo!

    Oh, Laura! That is EXACTLY what happened! :) I am a new person, yes! Thank you SO much for sharing from your book! I’m going to be adding to my “Wild Women Wisdom” page yesterday – and I’ve already been hunting around to see what GEM of yours I want to add! You’ve just handed me a BEAUTY! !!! xoxox

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  5. Mmm .. may I stop over for a bit of stew? Lovin’ it!

    Oh, absolutely! :) I’ll have some crusty bread and a glass of something delich to go with it!

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  6. Fall is delightful. A time of renewal. I too love Fall clothing, foods, and colors. I feel invigorated in the Fall season. Everything about it arouses my senses.

    Lovely post, Grace, beautifully capturing the delights of Autumn and the Autumn of our lives. I can taste the soup warming my belly and breath in the comforting scent of spices, homemade bread and cookies.

    Love the new quote in your sidebar! My favorite book, and topic of today’s post. Must be something in the changing seasons and Fall air.

    Before I depart I have to say I adore the excerpt from your book, Laura. Positively delish!

    Hi, MW!! Thank you! And if we were closer in proximity, I would be honored to have you bless my home with your presence!! Isn’t that something, about the shared love of “Women Who Run”???? The book has had a major impact on me – I chose that quote a couple of days ago because – well – it just speaks to me! I can’t wait to get to your place to see what wisdom you’ve come up with today! Hugs and kisses!

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  7. Fall is my favorite season too for all the same reasons, but the rich colors draw me in the most – the bright primary colors of summer and the pastels of spring don’t move me like reds and golds and greens and yellows of fall. Even winter’s black and white palatte speaks to me louder than the warmer seasons. I wonder why that is.

    :) Today we had our first Fall rain and it was so wonderful, OB! I love Winter’s starker colors, too. It’s like the ZEN of seasons! Very tranquil, inviting us to travel deep within ourselves for nourishment and life. Contemplations, stillness, quiet,,,,these might be the more subtle messages of the Winter. Namaste Goddess!

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